article

How to Let Go of Unwanted Things You've Inherited

By Jennifer Ott, Houzz via Realty Times

bluehammer
Photo by Sarah Greenman

Whether you've inherited a large collection of items or a single bulky piece of furniture, it's OK to let it go if you don't need or want it.

A dear friend of mine recently inherited a large collection of books. And by large, I mean over 1,000, many of them the bulky hardcover variety. He was, of course, touched by the gift - from a longtime mentor and fellow avid reader - but feels overwhelmed by the sheer size of the collection because he's downsizing his own home. When anyone suggests that he perhaps cull the collection a bit, he feels guilty, as if that would dishonor the memory of his friend.

This reminded me of past clients who insisted that we work around a big, bulky piece of furniture they didn't especially like or use, but felt obligated to keep because it was a gift from a loved one.

My father-in-law is fond of pointing out that when a funeral procession goes by, you never see a moving truck or armored car full of cash as part of the procession. In other words, you can't take this stuff with you when you go. So I say that instead of putting emotional energy into things, why not redirect it and instead cherish our thoughts and memories of those we've lost?

Several years ago, I unexpectedly lost a favorite uncle and, soon after that, my grandmother, followed by my grandfather. I adored these three immensely and felt much grief upon losing them, especially within such a short span of time. What helped me most in dealing with the loss was to sift through old photos and find one that perfectly captured each of them and their fun personalities. I keep those framed photos on display in my home, and whenever I walk by and glimpse their images, I'm reminded of them and, no matter what my current mood, they make me smile.

Personally speaking, after I'm gone, I'd rather that my surviving family and friends keep a photo of me around to occasionally remember our good times together than feel saddled with my stuff.

I should point out that I'd never advocate getting rid of items that have sentimental or historical value to you or your family. By all means, keep the pieces you hold dear. But if you don't want the items and are looking to lighten your load, you have options for dealing with them.

bluehammer Photo by Shannon Malone – Look for living room design inspiration

1. Keep one or two (or a few).

If you, like my friend, are gifted a large collection of items, perhaps hang on to a small number and give away the rest. I encouraged my friend to keep the books that are most interesting to him, or that most remind him of his friend, and then donate the remainder. I think this honors the memory of his friend without creating a burden for my friend.

If the inherited item is something like a large dining room set, perhaps keep one chair as a reminder of the person you lost and then find a good home for the other pieces.

bluehammer Photo by Kimball Starr Interior Design – Search dining room pictures

2. Keep but modify it.

Let's say you're given a large dining room set that you could use in your own home, except that some pieces are in rough shape or the style doesn't quite work with your decor. Instead of tossing or donating the set, you may be able to restore or update it with some elbow grease and a new stain or paint job. Or perhaps all it needs is new upholstery. Don't be afraid to modify an item to make it work for you.

Of course, I wouldn't recommend doing this if the item is an antique or otherwise has value being kept in its original condition.

3. Donate it.

If you simply can't use or don't want the item, give it to someone who can use it and will appreciate it. That large and dated dining set may not work in your house, but I guarantee that there's a family out there who would love, use and cherish such a set. I think that's a pretty great way to honor the deceased. Rather than the item sitting unused and collecting dust in your storage unit - and you feeling guilt or resentment about it - someone who can't otherwise afford to purchase such an item gets to have and use it.

bluehammer Photo by Helping Hand Thrift Shop – More home bar ideas

4. Sell it.

I believe that if someone gives or leaves an item to you, it's yours to do with as you wish. If it's something you can't use or don't want to keep, and it has monetary value, go ahead and sell it. Before selling it to the highest bidder, though, you may want to see if a friend or family member of the deceased wants to buy or trade for it.

If it doesn't sit well with you to profit from the transaction, you can always donate the item - or the money you make selling it - to a cause championed by you or your loved one.

Your turn:

Do you think it's OK to get rid of inherited items? How have you handled this sensitive situation?

Want to estimate your home improvement costs before talking with a contractor? Claim your home for free with bluehammer to estimate costs, secure your home inventory and learn more about your home.

* THIS REPORT IS AN OPINION THAT MAY BE INACCURATE AND IS PROVIDED SOLELY AS AN INFORMATIONAL TOOL NOT DESIGNED TO PROVIDE DEFINITIVE ANSWERS. ALL ELEMENTS ARE OFFERED "AS IS" AND BLUEBOOK EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, REPRESENTATIONS, AND GUARANTEES OF ANY NATURE, EXPRESS, IMPLIED OR OTHERWISE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABLITILY, NONINFRINGEMENT, TITLE, QUIET ENJOYMENT, ACCURACY, OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. IN NO EVENT SHALL BLUEBOOK (OR THEIR SUPPLIERS) BE LIABLE FOR ANY GENERAL, DIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND, OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, THOSE RESULTING FROM USE OF THE PRODUCT, INCLUDING : (1) RELIANCE ON THE MATERIALS PRESENTED, (2) COSTS OF REPLACEMENT GOODS, (3) LOSS OF USE, DATA OR PROFITS, (4) DELAYS OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTIONS, (5) AND ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR PERFORMANCE OF INFORMATION) WHETHER OR NOT BLUEBOOK HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

Know what you should pay for your home improvement projects with bluehammer.Claim your home. It's free!

Popular


Installing a Ceiling Fan

Ceiling fans add to the decor of a room and are an energy efficient way to improve cooling when it's hot and heating when it's cold. For simple installations, installing your own ceiling fan is a breeze.

Replacing Your Clothes Dryer

With lots of small moving parts, having a clothes dryer stop working is inevitable.

Electric Water Heater Troubleshooting Quickstart Guide

Technology advances are making electric water heaters more popular than ever. The electric water heater market, valued at $6 billion in 2015, will expand at an annual compound growth rate of 7.5 percent to reach $33.22 billion by 2024, Global Market Insights projects. Advances in energy saving, comfort control and display technology are driving demand. As more homes acquire electric water heaters, home owners will increasingly require specialized maintenance for these appliances. Here’s a quickstart guide to assist you when troubleshooting electric water heaters.

Five Easy Ways To Remake Your Fireplace

It's chilly out there! You've probably got your heat cranked up and the fireplace on. And, chances are you're staring at that fireplace and thinking of all the things you'd like to change.

7 Simple & Smart Basement Repairs to Consider

No space in your home is more accommodating and homey, or conversely scary, than your basement. A nicely finished basement can be the entertainment centerpiece of your entire home, housing your big-screen TV, the most comfortable couches in the place and a warm, inviting atmosphere that wraps each guest in comfort.

Inspired Ways To Create A Guest Space When You Don't Have A Guest Room

Not all of us are blessed with enough bedrooms to accommodate every member of the family plus a home office and a man cave and a theater room and a guest space. And, it's that last one that often ends up as a challenge when friends and family come to visit and you either have to break out the blow-up bed or give up your room and hunker down with the kids. You don't need to add on or buy a new home to provide a comfortable space for guests. These smart solutions will help you create a great space for guests with minimal effort.

Replacing Your Bathroom Vanity

Replacing your old vanity can make a big aesthetic difference in your bathroom.

House Fires: Less Than Two Minutes To Survive!

Have movies and super heroes lulled us into a false sense of security when it comes to house fires?

A Homeowner's Guide To Water Filtration

Is a home water treatment system a luxury or a necessity? Based on surveys commissioned by the Water Quality Association (an industry trade group), people who viewed water treatment as a luxury rose from 50 to 54 percent between 2013 and 2015.

Best New Security Tips To Keep Your Home Safe While You're On Vacation

Nothing kills your vacation buzz like getting a call from the police back home letting you know your home has been burglarized. Basic home security tips are great, but safety measures are continually evolving, with new and more refined ways to keep you and your home safe.

See More Articles